Should you do a First Look?
Ah, the First Look… such a brilliant middle finger to tradition. We live in the future, so let’s just… do things our own way, right? Yes. But, wait… what if tradition is good? That surreal moment when the groom sees his bride for the first time on their wedding day, in front of everyone they know, and she sees him seeing her and his face starts doing that thing… where the water comes out of his eyes, you know what I’m talking about. This moment is emotional perfection.
However, for many couples the stress is simply not worth it.
So, your options are either you sacrifice tradition and throw it to the curb like a recently shotgun’d beer can, or you suffer the emotional equivalent of being struck by a pure white semi truck decorated in lace with mudflaps that read “pop the champagne she’s changing her name.” But, there is also a third option!
The First Touch
Many couples are looking for something that gives a solid middle finger to tradition while also simultaneously being very polite about doing so. Enter… The First Touch. This event involves some kind of door or corner or some device to separate the view of the couple while they simply hold each other’s hands and do not look at each other. The First Touch often involves private vows, much like The First Look can. The essential point of both firsts are to dramatically reduce the emotional stress experienced by either partner when walking down the aisle. Both of these methods seem to work well from my perspective observing all sorts of weddings as a professional.
Honestly, I don’t have one solid favorite to recommend. Strictly speaking, from a technical standpoint a First Look is definitely the best looking scenario on video because it allows for the most control. First touches are hard to mic because you’re facing away from each other. I would say if you are the type of couple who would much rather say their vows to each other privately, where messing up a word or crying is much safer and experienced with much less pressure, then absolutely consider some kind of private first meeting, with or without a look involved.
Still, there is a reason why traditions have existed for so long. There is something completely impossibly incredible about witnessing a ceremony in its most traditional form. But even that doesn’t describe every ceremony that occurs sans first look. Sometimes grooms just do not react at all. Sometimes brides book it down the aisle like they’re double parked and don’t even smile along the way. None of these are wrong answers. Weddings can be very staged, performed, and scripted. Any opportunity couples might have to let their personalities shine should be embraced. And so, the only question is what approach fits your personality best?
This has been Wedding Thoughts with Grahame Bywater. Stay tuned for our next episode where I start to rant about Instagram compression and then realize no one knows what the hell I’m talking about… till next time!
